The year is almost over
not much to say for it
the novel isn’t finished
the book of poems has drowned
didn’t go to school
didn’t get a job
worked odd gigs here and there
kissed odd girls in evenings
strange meetings with strange friends
even stranger incidents
countless broken dishes
countless arguments and slamming doors
composing songs
flew to Mexico City
drowned in Tequila
got lost in New Jersey
almost got arrested in Maine
destroyed a table from rage
regretted things I’ve said
threw up in bars
bought drinks for strangers
cried once in the morning
when there was no money
ate canned corn for three weeks straight
wrote the outlines of a life worth living
watched hours of television
smoked cartons of cigarettes
drank gallons of whiskey and vodka
yelled beyond the walls of my apartment
stepped in shit, stepped in ice, broke glasses
tied ropes around bikes, biked for hours,
took photos, worked tirelessly,
stood on a street giving out flyers
asked a girl to marry me
and she said no
wrote poetry and lost half of it
got jobs for friends
embarrassed myself
embarrassed others
saw friends almost die
saw friends hearts broken
friends came to visit
and friends left
saw coldness, snow, sleet, rain
saw heat, sweat, beaches, gorgeous women
touched hips
believed in God
prayed and meditated
became an ascetic
took cold showers
ate lentils, tried to be wise
was a saint and a beast
a traitor and a liar
a thief and a sinner
was thrown out of bars
was kicked, hit, stabbed, robbed
given tickets by the cops
given tickets by the metro cops
wrote my names in library books
never returned library books
starved for days
ate like a king
got hired less
got fired more
lost friends and made no friends
and I loved and still believed in love
and standing in a parking lot
between Brooklyn and Manhattan,
I saw the new year coming
it’s gonna be a good year.